Walking Contradiction

I’m unsure how to begin this post, because well… It sounds complicated, when it’s actually very simple.

It can often sound like I’m in a constant fight with myself on here. Potentially even sounding like a walking contradiction… I understand why, yet it’s very important I outline the fact that writers are storytellers and essentially, our entire job is to make it a memorable or impactful one.

To make you feel something.

This being said, not all that I write is written with accuracy. Much is dramatised for impact, humour or your entertainment. I often talk about people in my life as characters, or love as doves soaring through the sky or inner frustration as a complete renewal. This is only an interpretation of how I feel and think, a story.

I take real life scenarios and build them into stories you want to read, interjected with very specific psychological learnings. Writing you can both connect with and learn something from.

So when you all believe I’m potentially falling apart or having a meltdown, it’s often just an average day that I’ve articulated into a humorous lesson of some sort.

Why is this relevant you ask?

Well, the reality of my life right now is actually a blessing. I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be. I don’t feel the need to rush anything, I don’t need to chase because all I need is directly in front of me, and all I desire for my future is already on the path I’m walking.

Yes, I’ll admit, the future element holds a lot of inner trust because we can never know with full accuracy can we? Yet on a whole, I know the work being done now is precisely what it needs to be in order to foster the future I desire, so my trust is valid.

There are a few various elements which remain completely out of my control because they involve other people, but even then, I’m not concerned in the slightest as it’s simply not my priority right now. When it becomes a priority, a need of sorts, then I’ll re-invest my energy where necessary.

Not all day’s are perfect of course… It’s apparent that I’m a very impatient person with most things, and some elements of what I’m building at the moment have caused momentary frustration. The flames don’t spread too far though as my oxygen chooses to redirect it back toward purposeful action and not empty emotions. My emotional bounce-back is a pretty speedy turnaround these days! It takes something pretty big to knock me off my feet, which is good as I’ve spent years wasting energy on emotional cycles that don’t serve me.

So, to clarify, I’m actually the most grounded, clear and focused I think I’ve ever been. A contradiction to what you may believe.

I know what I’m channelling and I’m happy to make the temporary compromise to get myself there, and it’s not such a fight anymore. Everything is aligned, and for the first time it feels like my own energy is finally aligned with it.I don’t think I’ve ever reached that point before?

And therefore, the work I’m putting in right now is actually working! It might be slow, but the tree is growing and it’s not so chaotic anymore. Contrary to my last post, again, the reality is not so stark.

I hold little clarity over why I felt the need to express this in the first place though. That remains a mystery…

There is more of you on the other end of this blog than ever before, so maybe I’m becoming more aware of how all you lovely readers actually perceive me. That’s not a bad thing either.

So thank you, I guess, for all being here and reading these words I type away at midnight. And I hope you enjoyed the unglamorous reality of my world for a change.

Sweet dreams xxx