High.
A few weeks of being in a hot air balloon, floating high above the ground, head completely and utterly submerged in the clouds. Soaking up every ounce of knowledge, learnings and reflection mentally possible for my brain. Leaving a place so sound and secure, offering me everything I ‘thought’ I wanted, to runaway and challenge it all against the universes power to skyrocket me away.
The key question I’m constantly (almost annoyingly) asked,
“why fulfil the need to challenge something so good?”
Fair point. To put it simply, my curiosity and desire to lap everything, everyone and all potential enlightening experiences up, overtakes my need for security. I have an opportunity to settle, I’ve set up those foundations and they’re back home awaiting my return, if I ever choose to return in the first place. Yet for now I’m here, in this hot air balloon, admiring the views from high above as my brain examines, learns to articulate and comprehends the new learnings I’m being thrown.
I’m already pleasantly surprised by how many beautiful people have entered my life and challenged my ideology at this turning point I’ve found myself in. Giving me the opportunity to overcome some boundaries I was putting onto myself. Vulnerably offering me their own experiences and transformations as a reflection against my own.
I’ve even had people act as a mirror. Reflecting back at me what I truly desire. It’s been confronting, yet it’s precisely why I’m here. To meet these people who reflect back at me what I might be missing, the ideology I’ve adapted to that’s possibly now an old belief system.
Holding compassion and patience for myself throughout this time is incredibly critical for me to navigate these emotions, eventually articulating them into a new page within my greatest desires. As much as I’m floating high up in the clouds right now, to my dismay I will eventually need to come down and ground myself enough to build these new bones within my body. That cannot be done from a place of vulnerability, only from the solid and secure woman within myself. I also cannot forget that I’m trying to write a book over here too, so I can’t stay in the clouds for too long…
Watch me tiptoe this zip line, slowly, delicately placing one foot in front of they other.
Re-rooting my beliefs and allowing myself the space to open up, then retract. Let go when I feel the urge and pull back when it becomes too noisy.
It’s a beautiful dance that I’m performing only for myself.
My souls secrets, my heartbeats tune and this incredible journeys deepest curiosities upon my shoulders.
I fucking LOVE IT.
The mistakes and leaps of faith that fail are all intertwined within this time too, may I add. One of the best parts is getting it wrong, so we can eventually get it right. I choose to hold grace throughout my bad decisions as much as I do my good ones.
Take me as I come, open me up and step inside, or silently observe and turn away. I’ll stand tall regardless of the movements around my own inner shell.