Move It.
I’ve had too many conversations as of late that highlight just how ‘stuck’ many people are finding themselves.
Trust me, I get it! Feeling stuck is a natural part of re-routing. Although it seems that many find themselves unable to recognise why they’re stuck in the first place. Most of these conversations go somewhat like this:
Them: “My goal is to get to X but I can’t yet so I’m just doing XY for now”
Me: “Why can’t you?”
Them: “I haven’t had enough time - I’m unsure if it will work - I don’t have enough money etc”
Me: “Okay, make more time - Make a plan to build your income and reach your goal - Your reasons to feeling stuck is your lack of determination to get to XYZ. You’re actually not stuck at all, you’re just lazy. All you need to do is write down the various factors that stand in your way, then build a strategic plan to fuck them off and get to your goal”
Them: “That will take too long”
Me: “Then you clearly don’t want it bad enough”
Them: “Oh"
In most cases, the reasons for being stuck are simple factors that you can easily remove to get to your goal. Things like:
I’m fat, I don’t like myself - Okay, change your habits, go to the gym and work with an aligned health professional
I don’t have enough money - Okay, ask for a pay rise, change your spending habits and or apply for a more financially aligned job
I don’t have enough time - Make time. There is always time! All you have to do is learn to prioritise that time appropriately
My environment makes me sad - Change your environment
I can’t find love - Because you’re looking too hard, focus on yourself first and the rest will follow
The reason most people fail to recognise these simple solutions simply comes down to their fear of recognising what that change means. Usually, it means you have to push yourself out of your comfort zone. You have to make some big pivotal change and it will change the course of your life forever. Yet that’s no reason not to do it. If you’re stuck and you sit there day in day out complaining about how miserable you are, then you need to make the change. If you’re feeling stuck, it’s because something is not working.
In most of my coaching sessions, I get out a piece of A3 paper and on the left side we write down the reasons why you feel stuck - On the right side we write where you want to be - In the middle we then build a simple strategic map to get you from the left, to the right - All that sit’s within the middle is usually the factors you’re scared to do, so I always say “how badly do you want to get to the right side?”
Now you can clearly recognise that you’re stuck because of your fear, not because of all these various factors you continue to let block you. It’s a very simple and digestible strategy we use to help people navigate through their hardships and get their mind and body into a higher frequency of thinking. There is no roadblock, not really… It’s just life being life and your ability to turn your thoughts into actions, and understand the strategies that best apply to you reaching your own personal success.
In more complex cases, the reasons will hold more weight:
I’m in an unhappy marriage
My business is going bankrupt
I’ve lost myself and now Im a bad parent
Yet even when they’re huge life altering reasons like so, when the decisions you make next not only alter your course, yet those around you too… it is a bigger and more complex roadblock. Although, it’s never unable to be changed and building a strategic plan to get you to where you need to be, still applies all the same. You just need a few extra buffers to fall back on when plan A and B potentially get tossed out the door. The bigger the leap, the larger our piece of paper. This way we know we have covered all the variables moving forward and your mind can settle into the safety of knowing you will still get to the other side. Key ingredient to growing the balls you’ll need to make the change in the first place.
A personal example I recently navigated:
My ex and I had been together for coming on seven years. Our relationship had always been full of fire, as two fierce independents who fell in love at a very unplanned, rather inconvenient time. This made for a good amount of collaboration, incredibly strong and open communication paths, and the winning factor - trust. Our love always and continues to run very deep in our veins, yet logically our paths have always clashed. His work pulled him out of the country or to remote locations for a good 8 months of every year, and my business kept me stuck in one city, unable to move with the flexibility I deeply desired. We made it work regardless and did pretty damn good throughout the constant highs and lows of our relationships navigation, and we equally adapted where necessary to keep the relationship together.
Yet 2025 rolled around and we both found ourselves ready to be free of the relationships never-ending push and pull. We equally desired to move forward without the limitations of our relationship. In our minds, it didn’t alter our love, if anything it strengthened it. Yet this was a very trivial and challenging leap for us to make, as we knew our individual paths would more likely than not lead us on completely opposing trajectories. As the parts of ourselves needing more growth would impact who we both are at our core, and therefore alter what we might want in our future.
Both of us were, and in some ways still are, fearful to let go of the ‘future us’ we had originally designed. Letting go of our relationship was far more than just letting go of one another… It was saying goodbye to the future we had collectively collaborated on building together - To our biggest safety net to date (each other) - To the home we’d built together and the friends and family we’ve shared over the last seven years. Will we ever find one another again? If we don’t, will we ever find someone who compares? Is losing all of this worth the gain of our next endeavours? We had so many questions, and those questions was all the fear that powered through our bodies.
Even harder when it’s not coming from a lack of love, simply a lack of alignment.
The never ending need to follow our own callings, to chase our crazy and wild childhood pipeline dreams was more important than our relationship. We knew that all the fear was the very reason we had to leave. The issues within our relationship and as individuals would never be resolved without taking this leap. Our need to keep growing in order to become better as individuals, felt inevitable.
Are we happier now? In many ways, yes! In just 10 months, we’ve both managed to push ourselves to far greater places and into some incredible experiences that never would’ve developed within the limitations of our relationship. Our stories are greater, our opportunities are more vast and our freedom to move and pivot to wherever our next calling is, is exponential! Yet I’d be lying to you if I said in many ways we’re also unhappy. With all those highs, we still have the lows of loneliness, what if’s and the continued grief of leaving the person you loved for so long.
But here is the key:
We were not chasing happiness, we were chasing growth.
When we look back at our main goal for both our relationship and our independent futures, it was growth. We already had happiness and unhappiness in fleeting moments, that feeling remains! Yet we’ve grown more into the people we desire to be individually and continue to become, at the expense of our relationship. A calculated risk that honoured our original goal - Never stand in the way of each others growth.
Now I’m not saying the answer is to walk away, that’s not necessarily relevant for everyone in a stuck relationship. Alas, when you find yourself caught between where you currently are and where you desire to be - It becomes rather critical that you analyse what stands in the way of you reaching further success, regardless of how hard it may be. If you don’t, you’ll find yourself continuously becoming more numb to your routine, surroundings, relationships and entire approach to life. It’s what we call ‘moving from a low frequency mindset’ - Whereas in contrast, when you move from a high frequency mindset you will consistently honour your need to grow, expand, challenge and awaken. You hold enough courage and optimism to put your own needs first and trust that what is aligned for you will follow.
In conclusion, you’re not stuck - You’re scared, and that’s normal. Although I must ask you, how long will you allow yourself to remain stuck? I say, no longer. Let’s make some moves and build you a strategic way forward, your future self will thank you.
If you’re reading this and need help in building a way forward, slide into my dm’s or flick me an email. I promise I don’t bite.